Craving Creativity

blown-awayLately I have found myself both gripped and soothed by a particular genre of television, and happily for me there turns out to be a lot of it–in fact, since I brought it up on Twitter I’ve learned of many more options, which means that even at my current rate of consumption I won’t run out for months. The shows I’ve been binge-watching (as much as I can binge-watch anything in this busy time of term!) are all examples of what you might call ‘gamified creativity’: shows in which dedicated amateur practitioners of some art or craft compete through a series of challenges in the hopes of being recognized as the best of the bunch.

canadian-baking-showThe well-known Great British Baking Show is one such show; over the past few years I’ve greatly enjoyed both the original series and the Canadian version. I didn’t initially think about it as showcasing creativity because in some ways baking is such a practical and also such a non-negotiable skill: the cake either rises or it doesn’t, the bottom of the pie is either soggy or it isn’t. Watching Blown Away, Next In Fashion, and some of The Great Pottery Throw Down, however, has clarified for me that a big part of the appeal of TGBBS always was the combination of that practicality with ingenious concepts and creative designs and decorations. That’s what these other shows highlight as well: it’s not enough to be able to sew a hem (or a whole jacket), or throw a pot–you also have to come up with a concept for the project and execute it in a way that (if all goes well) sparks both admiration and pleasure. “Fit for function” is an essential standard on the pottery show, but if all your teapot does is pour, it’s not going to make Keith cry!

pottery-titleI’ve been wondering what it is about these shows (which have been around for years, after all) that is so appealing to me right now. Certainly part of it is that they are not particularly demanding to watch, and also that overall they are quite cheering: the very idiosyncrasy of the participants combined with their shared passion for their craft is just so heartening, so humane, at a time when there seems to be so much anxiety and inhumanity going around. These shows also celebrate qualities that are often devalued in the wider world, including not just creativity but also beauty, originality, and mastery outside the domain of the relentlessly technical and utilitarian. Sure, there’s something artificial about the competitions themselves (must everything be turned into a game show?) but I actually find the judging process fascinating: speaking as someone who recoiled from Elizabeth Gilbert’s “all that matters is that you made anything at all” pitch in Big Magic, I embrace the idea that it is worth striving to do something well, and that people who themselves have achieved excellence are entitled to weigh in on what that means. I feel that I learn something about the technical skills they are evaluating by listening to their comments, which in turn helps me appreciate related artifacts in my own world (such as my own modest pottery collection), and while aesthetic judgment is inevitably more complicated, here too I feel I learn from how the experts carry it out–much as I think we all, as readers, can learn from reading analyses of books by experienced critics, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them.

turtle-toiletI think too that I am engaged by these shows because I have been feeling restless in my own work. What I feel, often, watching the participants demonstrate their plans and then do their best to carry them out, is envy. I think it must be wonderful to be able to do the things they can do–and also to be passionate about doing them, so much so that you never question why you are doing them and are happy to keep trying and trying and trying again to do them better. I especially envy the leap of imagination that takes them from “here’s the task” to “here’s my idea for that task”: bread that looks like a lion, a toilet that looks like a turtle. (That turtle toilet filled me with such irrational joy when it turned out so well! Who would ever think of such a thing? Who would ever make it? And yet isn’t it just delightful?) By comparison, my relationship with my own work is often much more uncertain, and the work itself–whether it’s teaching, grading, researching, or reviewing–doesn’t really feel creative, or at any rate it doesn’t really satisfy my vague desire to be creating something. That’s one reason I took that drawing class a couple of years ago–it was an experiment in bringing more creativity into my life, which I guess to me means bringing more art into my life–and it’s also the reason I still sometimes wonder why I gave up so early in my life on the idea of writing, rather than just reading, fiction.

three-guineasAnd yet there are creative aspects to my job. As I was starting to write this post, for example, I was also working on my class notes for some new (to me) material I’m teaching next week, including Woolf’s “Kew Gardens” and Three Guineas, both of which I’ve read before, of course, but which I’ve never assigned. This means that I have to come up with a teaching strategy for them, which means figuring out what story I’m going to tell about them: where I’ll begin, what background exposition I’ll include, what plot (for want of a better term) I’ll try to shape our experience of them into. I also think of book reviewing as a kind of storytelling: what might look to a reader of the review “just” like a bit of plot summary, for example, is actually a highly selective retrofitting of the book’s own elements in order to tell my story of what the book is about. The hardest part of writing every review is spotting that story and figuring out how to tell it (and one of the freedoms I most enjoy when writing blog posts, by comparison, is being able to discover it as I go along rather than having to shape the piece around it from the beginning).

shawlIs it because the building blocks of these particular processes are someone else’s stories that, for all the pleasures they really can offer, they don’t quite satisfy the craving for creativity in my own life, the underlying hunger for it that I am feeding with the vicarious experience of it offered through these shows? Perhaps. So what to do about that? I don’t particularly want to change up my approach to either criticism or teaching: I don’t much like criticism that crowds out its real subject (as I see it) with too much other stuff, and though I know my approach to teaching isn’t the only one (I have colleagues, for instance, who incorporate creative writing and other activities into their classes), it is one I believe in and feel comfortable with. I do have some hobbies–crochet and quilting–that give me the satisfaction of actually creating something, but it’s interesting that they are both (for me, anyway, at my limited skill level) pattern-following crafts; my self-expression in both is limited to choosing a pattern and choosing the materials. That’s not nothing, of course! (Also, crochet in particular is perfect to do while watching TV shows of other people making amazingly creative things. 😊)

Will I ever find the courage (not to mention the time) to try something else? What would it be? Would doing it badly–as I am bound to, at first and perhaps always–actually be rewarding at all? Could I ever shut up my inner critic long enough to just enjoy myself while I was doing it? (Here is where I wryly acknowledge that if only I could join in with Gilbert’s  celebration of the “disciplined half-ass” I would no doubt be bolder and maybe have more fun!) The only way to find out would be to try, I guess, as I did with drawing. Maybe I should get back to that — or maybe at some point I should try a pottery class. Or try writing something that isn’t about someone else’s writing…

 

8 thoughts on “Craving Creativity

  1. Amateur Reader (Tom) March 8, 2020 / 4:14 pm

    I have come across the idea, in person and in books, that adult language learning is also hampered by real concern about “doing it badly,” which is inevitable but maybe even less fun in a classroom full of 20 year-olds who seem to be do it badly with ease. Related brain activity, maybe. I don’t know what answer there is except to jump off the cliff.

    If you want to see a literary critic write about pottery, I thought Christopher Benfey’s Red Brick, Black Mountain, White Clay; Reflections on Art, Family, and Survival was pretty great in its way. It did not tempt me to make pottery, but it sure tempted me to collect it.

    • Rohan Maitzen March 8, 2020 / 5:40 pm

      You are right about the cliff, of course: the inhibitions are psychological, not practical. That book sounds wonderful: thanks for the recommendation.

    • Amateur Reader (Tom) March 8, 2020 / 5:47 pm

      The book has quite a lot about fabric arts, too. Anni Albers was Benfey’s great-aunt!

      • Rohan Maitzen March 8, 2020 / 9:50 pm

        The university library has it! Now, if only I didn’t have all this *work* piling up …

  2. Musings from the Marches March 9, 2020 / 5:38 am

    A fabulous book about the appreciation of pottery is Edmund de Waal’s The White Road. He really inspired me to discover more about pottery and maybe to take a class in pot throwing. I loved his previous book too: The Hare with Amber Eyes. He has passion and such attention to detail.

    I get told continuously that my classes and syllabi are creative, my garden is an act of creation, even my interior decoration. But, somehow, it doesn’t fulfil me as creating ‘something’. I’ve tried to write pieces without footnotes and citations and sometimes I think they’re okay, but the inner critic kicks in. Also tried botanical painting, which was quite satisfying using flowers from my garden, but again maybe it’s the inner critic.

    Good luck in your search! As academics, critical thinkers, maybe we are too critical…

    • Rohan Maitzen March 9, 2020 / 7:39 am

      That “inner critic” is hard to silence, isn’t she? And also I value her input a lot since so much of my work really is “critical” (in the best – I hope – sense of that word) so I can’t do without her either.

      The White Road is a great suggestion. I loved The Hare with Amber Eyes too (I wrote it up here a few years back).

  3. Kerry Clare (@KerryReads) March 9, 2020 / 2:43 pm

    Love this, and the range of possibilities it suggests for what’s next. Thanks also for sharing the turtle toilet. I don’t watch TV these days and clearly I’m missing out…

    • Rohan Maitzen March 9, 2020 / 5:58 pm

      Thanks, Kerry. Maybe I’m just making excuses for spending so much of my ‘down time’ staring at the screen–though a lot of the time I do keep working on my shawls, so it’s not completely wasted. But yes, that toilet: it’s such a good reminder of the need for some play and whimsy even in the most mundane parts of our lives.

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